It is ostensibly easier to attain the naturalness to openly express myself more, in recent days. A challenge, after years of self-censorship. For the first time, I am allowing others to glimpse into my personality instead of seeing a persona that I portray. Vulnerability, though intimidating, is magnificent and liberating. I still find walls and barriers I need to work past, but am learning to note only the progress I make and I have made an appreciable amount from where I had started.
A conversation with my brother, there are few words spoken, just the language in which siblings speak. Sentences are broken in half by either fits of laughter or the acknowledgement of being on the same wave-length. I can contest to certain elements to his life and he says, aloud, the thoughts I tend to confide only in my journal. Light charges through the shades of the restaurant that we are sitting in, brightening up the room, as if by some cue. Pausing to take a gander at our surroundings, it was half-expectant that angel voices would hum to a moment of enlightenment.
And so on and so forth, there is a rapidly building rapport as dialogue with individuals divulge new aspects. Through their similar experiences, I seek comfort in knowing we all deal with the same issues. The understanding of my own efforts ultimately responsible for my happiness is seen in true perspective. Despite making, what I feel is, more than my fair share of careless mistakes I uncover perseverance. Satisfaction reigns as the intricately crafted pieces of my personal jigsaw formulate the making of a concrete image.
Staring at this imagery board created months earlier, now blank once again, I intend to incorporate my new findings. Goals are variably altered and my mind considerably changed. Write, draw, dance, paint, express. I made a vow to be bolder, better, and to never settle. The world should feel limitless. Otherwise, there would be no point.
Affirmations on post-it are gradually peeling from my vanity mirror and placed into a notebook. I will write one everyday, as a practice in emitting positive thoughts. However, as someone pointed out to me, I truly only need one solid reminder:
