Fast forward time, about five years, the result is a present day evolution of a tumultuous relationship; complete with high and low points. We struggled together and bonded, as well as drifted apart.
Sometimes we take for granted what we have, forgetting the effort it took to obtain our desires. Blinded, and only focusing on the the negative, the unmistakable lack of variance amplifies. We failed to give ourselves a positive solution to end a counteractive mindset. Instead, complaining offers an easier option. Anger is simple; close eyes, open mouth, insert foot. Though venting is an applicable asset to life, continually knit-picking at ill-willed exasperations may become detrimental.
Love existed only as a hollow shell as I grew more disjointed with the emotion. The definition slowly crept into oblivion and I questioned if I even knew what it meant in the first place. In the past, I rejected the idea when others had differentiated "love" versus "being in love". As I faced my own paradox, it was the only way I could explain what I was experiencing. I cared for him, but it was bordering apathetic rather than attraction. Though he didn't admit it, his behavior told me that my deduction rang mutual.
I believe every relationship comes to a pivotal point. You are figuratively held at point blank range and forced to make a decision. For us, the bickering had become a daily routine and we needed to breathe. The split was followed by the awkwardness of dodging one another. It was tough making sense of the whole ordeal and even harder not having a confidant to confess the stabbing pain of giving up.
This was not just another argument, the exchanging of words ruptured with resentment. The attacks were ruthless, but brutally honest. When all was finally absorbed, we journeyed back to square one. Attempting to be friends. We were now grasping at straws to find love again or at least not lose whatever it was we had, in actuality, the wool was being casted over our eyes and we were fooling ourselves. In denial, neglecting to acknowledge the wreckage all around us, we would eventually unravel.
